I just had one of the most amazing experiences of my life, and wanted
to share it with my family and dearest friends. I was driving home from a meeting this evening about 5, stuck in
traffic on Colorado Blvd., and the car started to choke and splutter and
die – I barely managed to coast, cursing, into a gas station, glad only
that I would not be blocking traffic and would have a somewhat warm spot
to wait for the tow truck. It wouldn’t even turn over. Before I could
make the call, I saw a woman walking out of the “quickie mart” building,
and it looked like she slipped on some ice and fell into a Gas pump, so
I got out to see if she was okay.

I often wondered if a bad person is bad out of their own free will or if it is a consequence of their parent’s choices. At the age of 23 I have been through more in my life then most people who are a lot older then I have. At the age of two I was taking from my mother and father because of sexual abuse. I, along with my two sisters, was placed in a foster home. There we were hit and made to eat nothing but peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. We stayed there for a year until our grandmother called the police because of the bruises she had found on us. My grandmother and her husband later adopted us when I was at the age of 4. Growing up the only thing I was allowed to do was go to school, work, and be involved with the Catholic Church. My grandfather was a man who could drink. He would drink so much that at times he couldn’t even stand. I remember when they would fight I would hide behind the couch in the living room with the phone held tightly in my hand ready to call the police if my grandmother ever asked. Growing up, I can remember being called stupid and worthless just because of whom my parents were. I was told that I would never amount to anything more then the space I took up. If I was to do the littlest thing wrong I would have to remainkneeling on the wall for 3 days at a time depending on what I did. (Kneeling on the wall meant to kneel beside an empty wall and put your hands over your head. Only moving to eat, use that bathroom, and go to sleep). Sometimes, if I was lucky, I would be sent to the sewing room which was a dark room at the end of the house. When I was sent there it would be for a week or two at a time. I grew up always having the things in life that I needed to survive physically but emotionally I was starving for the kind of love that a parent has for their child. The kind of love you hear about in the bible when Mary held her baby son. Two day’s after my 18th birthday, I rented an apartment and moved out. I started having a life. I would go see friends and do stuff that I was never allowed to do at home. I was finally free from everything that ever hurt me in life. It was a new start for me.  In April of 2002, 3 months before my graduation, I was raped by my sisters boyfriend. I was a so ashamed I never told a soul. Back when I was 15 I had met a guy on the internet. We used to write letter and call each other all the time. I had told my parents that he was a pin-pal from school. We had stopped talking a year before the rape. When I was raped the world end as I knew it. I stayed in my apartment locked in the bathroom most of the time. I came out only to eat whenever I could stomach it. I stopped going to work and school. My whole life was gone. I was saving myself for my husband and then some guy comes along and takes the most important thing to me. The one thing that is priceless.  At this point in my life, I was stripped of pride, love, self-worth, and the grace of God. I went from serving God my whole life to thinking that God no longer loved or cared for me. I was totally alone. I felt as if everything I had worked for so far in life was gone and I would never be the same again. This whole time I was so angry at God for leaving me and allowing someone to hurt me like they did. My whole life I was trampled on and he allowed that to happen. I WAS HIS FAITHFUL SERVENT AND HE COULDN’T EVEN PROTECT ME!! WAS I THAT BAD IF A PERSON TO DESERVE THIS LIFE THAT HE GAVE ME? ALL I WANTED WAS SOMEONE TO HOLD ME AND TELL ME THAT I WAS WORTH SOMETHING. THAT WHAT HAD HAPPENED TO ME THOROUGHOUT MY LIFE WASN’T MY FAULT.  I can honestly say to you that I was wrong. God was there and I believe that with my whole heart. I now know that my God was there with me threw it all. That every heart ache and every tear I shed he felt and he cared. He had a plan for my life if I would only trust and believe in Him.  I am so glad I did.In June of 2002 I got an email from Eric, the guy I was talking to on the internet. I was too ashamed to tell any one else but the moment I talked to him I broke down crying and I told him. I had not talked to this man in over a year and I felt as if I could tell him anything and it would be ok. We had never even met. He lived in the other end of the country from me!  Two day’s later we met for the first time, and 5 months later, we were married.  Our God is so amazing that all we need to do is trust Him!! BEILIVE THAT HE IS THERE, BELIEVE IT. We have all heard the poem FOOTSTEPS IN THE SAND.  Well it’s true; at the darkest times in our lives our Lord carries us. He’s been there; he knows our pain because he feels it right along with us. There is nothing you and I can go though that he hasn’t already been through himself!! NOTHING!!! I always wanted someone to hold me and tell me things are going to be ok. God has. He has clothed me in his blood which he shed on the cross. He shed that blood for me. And he shed that blood for you. He is waiting for you to come to him and let him heal you; let him clothe you in his loving blood. Let him be the light that can light your way and the arms that can lift you up when things seem so low and you can’t go anymore. He is the only one that will never hurt or abandon us. What a friend we have in Jesus!!! He wraps us in the one thing only he can give.. everlasting peace!!!Heavenly Father, I come to you as a child wanting the love of a father. Clothe me in your blood and give me the peace and rest that only you can give. Bless me and keep me in your loving care always. Be with me as I go about my day and lead me in the path you want me to go. In your precious name I pray, AMEN.